Happier and Self-Kinder Life

9 things you need to stop doing to start living a happier, kinder life

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Living a happier, kinder life to yourself isn’t just about what you can do.

But also about what you’re actually doing. Especially those habits that have a negative and unhappy impact on your life.

So this week I would like to share 9 such habits. And what it helped me a lot to do instead.

1. Stop overthinking.

Overthinking can make a problem seem bigger and scarier than it actually is. It can hold you back in life and from taking any action.

What to do instead:

Set short time slots for making decisions.

For example: For small decisions like whether you should go and do the laundry, start writing a new article or exercise, I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.

For somewhat larger decisions that could have taken days or weeks to think about in the past, I set a deadline of 30 minutes or at least for the end of the work day.

Keep a simple reminder where you can’t avoid seeing it every day.

The note saying “Keep things very simple” on the whiteboard I saw several times each day helped me greatly – over time – to reduce my overthinking.

2. Stop swimming in the sea for the most negative sound.

Our happiness is greatly influenced by the people and other sources around us.

If you are swimming in a sea of ​​negative people and information that drives you into fear, frustration, and a feeling of powerlessness, it will limit your life.

What to do instead:

Find out what are the most time consuming and energy draining things out of all those things that affect you.

  • What one or two people pull you and your ideas the most?
  • What one or two other sources like blogs, forums, books, magazines, social media channels, TV shows have the biggest negative impact?

Write down those answers. Then think about what two people and two other resources make you feel more happy about yourself and life.

Decide to spend less time with 2-4 negative sources and spend the time now that you are free of those positive influences that I mentioned.

3. Stop getting stuck in the past or the future.

Spending a lot of time in the past usually causes you to go over old mistakes or failures over and over again, wanting to go back and do something about them.

Spending a lot of time thinking about the future usually leads to anxiety and build up monsters and nightmarish scenarios in your mind.

What to do instead:

Spend more of your time in the present moment. You’ll feel lighter, things will get easier and you’ll be more alert to appreciate the little wonders of everyday life.

Reconnect with what is happening right now by sitting still and remaining still. Then either:

  • Just breathe. Spend two minutes focusing on your breath going in and out.
  • Just focus on what’s going on around you right now. Do it with all your senses. Listen, watch, smell and feel what is happening in the small part of the world at this moment.

4. Stop setting standards that are too high for happiness.

A common mistake I made was to put an upper limit on my happiness.

So I usually only feel happy when I achieve something big, when I do something perfect or when something unexpected and wonderful happens.

You don’t have to wait for those rare occasions to feel happy.

What to do instead:

Tell yourself this when you get out of bed in the morning:

Today I will have a low level of happiness.

To remember to do this, consider writing it on a note or on your smartphone so you see it first thing in the morning.

By doing this, you will be taking a few things for granted. Your attention will naturally be more on what is going on in your daily life and you will be more grateful for the things there.

Like food, the weather, hanging out with a friend or pet for a while, little gestures of kindness and little moments that pass so quickly.

This was at least my experience with this habit. It did not diminish my desire to achieve or get things done.

Instead, it has made everyday life lighter. And the path to what I want to achieve is the happiest.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others can become a devastating and frustrating daily habit.

You compare relationships, cars, jobs, bodies, homes and at the end of the day your self-esteem is low and you feel like a failure with negativity ringing in your head like a swarm of annoying bees.

What to do instead:

Compare yourself to yourself. just look:

And don’t forget to celebrate small successes and steps forward, too.

This habit will help you see yourself in a more kind and helpful perspective as you feel energized and appreciate the steps you’ve taken on your journey.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed and powerless to keep growing and keep going after what you want out of life.

6. Stop doing things too quickly.

When you go fast almost all the time while walking, talking, driving, or working, you tend to feel more stressed.

Your focus becomes easier and it becomes difficult to think clearly.

What to do instead:

Slower. Walk, talk, move, drive and work slower. While you are doing this:

  • The tension in your body and mind will float away.
  • It’s only natural to be more in this moment.
  • You will enjoy more of life’s smells, sights, sounds and experiences.

7. Stop pushing what you feel deep down.

Focusing on the positive in life is one thing.

But trying to get rid of how deeply you feel about something is another.

And it usually doesn’t lead to happiness even if you try to turn on the smile and force positivity.

What to do instead:

Write it down or talk about it.

Don’t force positive thinking. If you have negative feelings or thoughts surfacing over and over again, take some time to yourself to think about it.

A pen and paper or a journal on your computer can help you think more clearly. Or you can talk about it with someone close to you.

Make a small plan.

After you’ve accepted and addressed how you think and feel about it, write a small plan — maybe just a step or two — that you can take action to get yourself out of this situation into something better.

Then go ahead and roll the ball by taking the first small, practical step forward.

8. Stop spending so little energy and attention on what really matters to you.

It’s easy to get lost and waste so much of your day and week.

In things you might do out of habit or because you feel you should. In busy work or in things that do not genuinely interest you.

What to do instead:

Get your priorities in check. Focus on what really matters to you.

Ask yourself: What are the 4 most important things in my life this year?

Maybe it’s your family. Or your hobby to become a better photographer. Or your health and getting in shape. Or an important project at work or in your own business.

Sit down and really think about it and reduce what matters to just the basics.

Then get out a pen and a small piece of paper and just write down your top 4 priorities for the year.

Put this note where you can’t avoid seeing it every day. Just like in your workspace. Or by your bathroom mirror or on your refrigerator.

This will help you keep your focus on track each day.

9. Stop waiting for someone else to make you happier.

Don’t make the common mistake of waiting for someone else to create the week, month, and year you want. This usually leads to a lot of waiting and frustration.

What to do instead:

Be proactive. Make the ball roll yourself. Take action and take the first small step forward by making the changes you want to make to create the life you want to live.

  • Schedule a coffee date or an evening at the bar With these most positive people in your life.
  • Set the bar for happiness When you jump or pull yourself out of bed in the morning and go slow for the day.
  • sit down tonight and write These are the four things that are most important to you this year.

And if you get stuck and start procrastinating, remember that you can always take smaller steps forward.

Do whatever is needed to lower this mental barrier and to get yourself to start or go back to taking action again.

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